medikinet

Firstly, I’m writing this on my computer rather than laptop, which is inherently going to produce an entirely different experience and result so don’t take this as a direct correlatory expression of experience, because it’s not.

Secondly: the keyboard feels weird and typing feels wrong, but this may be because it has been a WHILE since I typed via my computer

Thirdly: etc etc, you get the idea.

Fourthly and properly: I started my ADHD medication today.

‘Medikinet’ is the name.
“take one tablet twice daily for thirty days”

I can’t tell if with the ADHD subdued slightly, if I’m witnessing my dyslexia arrive. I’m catching my writing errors as I write them and fixing them along the way, but then I’m also aware of spelling etc. So perhaps the dyslexia is there? Which does actually make sense, I just don’t think it’s as strong as the expressions of ADHD made it seem.

Regardless. I wanted to write this because the experience is new and it’s good to have.

(I’m looking for music to listen to while writing this because I’m aware of the fact that I haven’t added music properly for a while because I’m caught unawares when I want to write something and so: no music and while I have years & years in my head i don’t want to listen to that.)

… documentation of these first experiences. SO. Thoughts:

It’s absolutely amazing how motivation and (what I like to refer to as /ability/ in that instead of staring at the work I know I have to do but simply ‘eh’ /shrug/ ing at it and looking away) come together in these pills. Not only am I suddenly capable of sitting down to write out these notes, that I enjoyed when having the initial conversation, but I’m also wanting to do it.

If this is how the ‘average’ brain functions I am in awe. To the point where I’m sort of enamoured with the idea of it, I would love to be able to work in this way, to function in this way. I find it unreal and sort of delightful.

But that could just be the euphoria talking. Bare with me and we’ll see later on.

Noted occurrences that may or may not be related:
sleepiness every now and again, after psych told me that some people with ADHD need stimulus to fall asleep this makes a LOT of sense, especially when considering results after MDMA.
Skin itchiness, or rather tickling from hair
Slightly worried I’m not moving my legs as much and could just die (not really, but notable nonetheless)
Blood pressure remains super chill.
Still feel inspirationally and distracted by stuff BUT I can stay on one task for a lot longer. I need to test this out in an environment sans distractions. (parents/ dogs/ vacuuming/ laundry etc etc)
I am however feeling a negative in my ‘flow’ there is nothing aesthetic or pleasing in my writing right now, I’m not following any kind of fluid expression, rather it feels like I am simply typing. It’s actually kind of a bummer so we’re going to have to think about that.

NEED TO: monitor medication, raise or lower, length it works for

I’m not feeling the music as much either, the 1975’s me was yeah, but it sort of flowed behind the scenes while fob’s disloyal order of the water buffaloes is simply happening separately from me so that’s quite interesting.
I feel so chill though it’s unreal.
My legs are dancing along to fob so…?????
LI F E

And now i’m listening to the music I’m into it. I think it’s just the focus thing. OH MUSIC <3<3<3 wow
So I’m not overwhelmed with the need to sing along, i.e.: impulsivity.

And now I don’t know how to sign off properly.

I’ll keep you posted and sorry for the DISGUSTING horror of this post.