happy birthday S

i just really love being able to light the match and burn people to the ground
the power of it
the ability

In simple, select words

I don’t know why

Perhaps when i said I didn’t understand, or feel, the desire for power
in actuality, i just misunderstood the actual concept?

I don’t know

Lectures today consisted of everyone talking about happiness
it is never more obvious to me that my adhd affects me exponentially
than when in these lectures, with friends and lecturers, i zone out and in doing so can contribute nothing at all.

perhaps i just got used to zoning out to particular voices
to not actually listening
or perhaps i’m just bored
and on the edge of something akin to, but in no way the same, misery of last year.

Last year and the prior year.

What a mess.

I don’t know
perhaps i did drag you down
but you came willing
and you loved it
so fuck off

♪: Osca, Flyte